Reducing One Teen's Phone Use

My friend J, a political operative, likens the work to his own

Sean and I have been 1-on-1 coaching some teens in distress.

Usually the front door (phone addiction or massive overuse) is firmly closed.

But sometimes you can enter through the side door, which is executive function. When teens are falling behind in school, they sometimes are open to help. “I can’t seem to start my homework; when I start, I can’t stick with it.”

I was explaining one of our teen cases to my friend J. J works on political campaigns.

J’s take:

Your 1-on-1 coaching work with teens reminds me of a campaign.

You’re not just giving a one-time speech and hoping it works. You’re running a multi-front effort. You’re trying different angles—direct conversations, social nudges, relationship leverage, timing things right—just like a good campaign manager figuring out which message hits and when.

Honestly, a speech is often tuned out. By voters and by teens.

Moms and Dads sort of know this - but persist in speeches. Some candidates are like that. Maybe they’re just so passionate about the cause. Or they just love the sound of their own voice. Either way, the speeches rarely change behavior of voters or teens.

You’re inviting teens to shift how they see themselves, by trying to put some WINS up on the board in other parts of their lives. Vibes are involved. In politics, you’re not necessarily saying “This is the list of policies you want" You want a vibe where voter says “I’m the kind of person who votes for this candidate.”

With teens, you hope to get to…“I’m not just the kid who zones out on my phone. I’m someone who shows up. Who gets things done. Who tries.”

You also have to take a ton of rejection and keep going - whether the campaign is to all voters or to one single teen. Voters literally slam the door on candidates. Voters say “I hate you.”

Teens are similar. And they will shrug, ignore you, scroll away.

But like any good campaigner, it seems like you and Sean keep coming back with a different approach, a little more trust, a little more timing. You know that a "no" might just mean "not yet.” That’s true in my work. Whether it’s door knocking. Getting a donation. Getting a state rep to flip their vote.

Last thing. Every campaign needs a ground game. The day-to-day grind—text check-ins, habit experiments for turnout, those small real-world wins—that’s the real engine. And it seems that’s where you’re putting in the work.